Maybe Forever
by Cheeseburger of Doom
Summary: Their relationship is not based on love, so none of it should really matter. Except -- at some point, it did start to matter, so what now?


A/N: one of two birthday fics for my dear friend Posterior Praiser, on the occasion of her birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  
  
**Maybe Forever  
  
**Mukahi Gakuto was pissed off.

It was true that he had a bad temper, and getting pissed off was nothing out of the ordinary, but today was different. Today, his irritation was caused by something that he couldn't pinpoint.

The anger had begun early this morning, when Yuushi had left their apartment early, without a word. They hadn't spoken much at all lately -- that was annoying, too. Gakuto hadn't seen him all day, and he still wasn't home tonight.

Still, that was no reason for him to be bothered. He was not Yuushi's keeper; if Yuushi wanted to go out, then he would go out, and there was nothing Gakuto could do to stop him. Not that he would want to stop him or anything...

Yuushi had been going out a lot, lately. He probably had some other lover; that would be just like him. It wasn't as if they were exclusive or anything; they lived together because they got along. They were friends first before lovers -- the sex was just convenient.

There was really no reason for him to be wondering when the hell Yuushi was going to show up. There was no reason he should care -- but he did.

It was quite late when he heard the door. He was still on the couch, staring at the blank TV screen.

"Not even going to say you're home?" Gakuto asked.

"I thought you would be asleep."

"Where the hell have you been?"

Yuushi stopped in his tracks. "Do you care?"

"Not really."

"Well, then. Are you coming to bed?"

"I'll sleep on the couch tonight." There was no way Gakuto was going to have sex with that bastard tonight. He didn't need to get any more -- he'd already gotten lots from whoever he'd been with. He must have. That was just what Yuushi did; what he'd always done. That was why they were together after all.

So why was Gakuto so pissed off?

-----

Gakuto hated schedules and routines. He liked life to be exciting, not structured. If something became too comfortable and too easy, he changed it.

Really, he should have left Yuushi long ago. He'd gotten too used to seeing Yuushi's face every night before he fell asleep, and every morning when he woke up. He'd gotten too used to hearing Yuushi's sexy voice murmur nonsense words in the night.

He didn't know when they had stopped being friends, they just had. He couldn't remember exactly when Yuushi had stopped whispering that nonsense -- but he didn't do it anymore. Gakuto had gotten used to all of that, and now that it was gone, he missed it.

Gakuto hated routines, and he hated for things to stay the same -- but Gakuto found that sometimes, he hated change as well.

-----

Gakuto had not seen Yuushi for two days. He wondered if maybe this time Yuushi wasn't going to bother to come home at all. It wouldn't surprise him -- but for some reason, it worried him. He couldn't sleep, and found himself staring once more at a blank TV screen.

Yuushi was the one who had decided that they needed a TV. He liked to make Gakuto watch romance movies, which Gakuto pretended to hate but really didn't mind. He liked that misty look that got into Yuushi's eyes when he watched -- something that he knew only he had seen.

Well, that wasn't necessarily true. Yuushi might have shown that side of himself to countless others. Gakuto had no idea.

Anyway, Yuushi didn't make him watch those movies anymore. He was never home.

Damn you, Yuushi. If you don't come back soon, I'm going to find you and kick your sorry ass.

-----

Gakuto woke suddenly. Something was looming over him. His first instinct was to kick it -- but then he noticed that it was Yuushi.

"Where the hell have you been?" Gakuto demanded.

"Do you care?"

Yuushi's bored tone was irritating. "Does it matter if I care or not? Where the hell have you been?"

"Out."

"Fine." Gakuto turned his back on Yuushi, and closed his eyes. "I'm going back to sleep."

"Good night, then."

He heard Yuushi's footsteps, and then the sound of their bedroom door.

Damn that bastard.

-----

"I'm thinking I should move out," Gakuto said. "This is getting old."

"I see."

Was that all Yuushi could say? I see? Even if they weren't getting along as fuckbuddies anymore, at least he could have asked Gakuto to stay as his friend! What had happened to them?

We used to be the best doubles team -- we used to be the naughty pair. We could make anybody ill with our jokes, we could do anything we wanted -- we were friends, damn it! What happened?

"I'll leave tomorrow, then," Gakuto said.

"Fine."

Gakuto took a deep breath to keep himself from doing something drastic, like braining Yuushi right then and there. "Fine," he said.

Yuushi went back to his book. Gakuto went out to get drunk.

----

Gakuto didn't have many things that he needed to take with him. Most of the stuff in the apartment was stuff they'd bought together, and he didn't want any of that. It would only serve to piss him off every time he looked at it.

"Do you have everything?" Yuushi was in the doorway, arms folded across his chest, looking very casual. Bastard.

"Yeah. I think so."

"Have you found a place to stay yet?"

"I'll just go and bother my parents."

"I see."

"Yeah." Gakuto picked up his bag, and slung it across his shoulder. "Thanks for nothing, then."

Yuushi raised an eyebrow. "What kind of goodbye is that?"

"The only one you're going to get." Gakuto left the apartment, hoping faintly that Yuushi would try to stop him.

Yuushi didn't.

-----

Gakuto did not go home to his parents, but went to a bar instead. He stared down a bottle of wine, wondering why Yuushi cared so little, and why he cared so much that Yuushi cared so little. They had been together for years, now; through junior high, high school, and college; and now it looked like they wouldn't make it past that.

"What the hell was I thinking, anyway?" Gakuto mumbled. "Nothing is forever. Not even fucking." He'd be too old for that too one day, wouldn't he? And then what would he do? Not much, probably. He wouldn't have a companion to share his days with or anything. He'd just be on his own, rotting away somewhere.

Gakuto wanted another drink. He opened his wallet, but forgot all about taking money out when he saw the picture in it. He didn't know what had ever possessed Yuushi to drag him into a photo booth, but there they were, the both of them. Yuushi had kept the first two pictures, the one where they were both grinning, then the one where they had started kissing; Mukahi had opted for the last two, after they'd started making out and some clothes had been lost. Oh, the look on the faces of the kids waiting in line...

They had some fun memories. Gakuto suddenly had an urge to cry. That meant that he'd had more than enough time to drink, and it was time to head home. The only problem with that was that he didn't have a home anymore. He didn't want to go home to his parents; he wanted to go home to Yuushi, and he wanted Yuushi to smile at him, and then make him watch a stupid movie and get all dreamy eyed, while Gakuto curled up against him...

"Damn it!" he exclaimed. "I'm going home, I don't care what that bastard thinks!"

"That's right! You tell him!" exclaimed the person next to him, who was really quite drunk.

"Thanks for your support, buddy."

"Yeah, no problem."

-----

Yuushi looked surprised. "Gakuto? What are you doing here?"

"I don't want to live with my parents anymore," Gakuto said.

"I see."

"Can't you say more than two words at a time?" Gakuto demanded. "Whatever happened to conversation?"

"I didn't know you were interested in conversation."

"What the hell? Why wouldn't I be? I thought we were friends." The alcohol still hadn't worn off, apparently; he couldn't stop the flow of words. "Or did you always think of me as just another piece of ass?"

"Gakuto --"

"I mean, that's fine, but we had some good times too, didn't we? Even outside of our bedroom."

"Gakuto --"

"So what the hell happened? Why aren't we friends anymore? Did you find somebody even better than me, or what?"

"There really isn't anyone better than you," Yuushi said.

Gakuto blinked. "What?"

"I haven't found anyone else at all. I was beginning to think that you didn't care if I existed or not, so I decided to try a little experiment."

"You were pissing me off on purpose?"

"If I'd known that you were pissed off, I wouldn't have kept doing it," Yuushi said. "I wanted to see you react, but you didn't, really. You didn't seem to care at all."

"I worked hard to pretend I didn't care, because I thought you were screwing around! You're the type to screw around."

"So are you, Gakuto."

"I -- well, that's true. But I wasn't. I never have." Gakuto pouted. "Why would I cheat when I have someone so sexy?"

"I feel the same way."

"So all of that was just a plot to see if I gave a shit or not?"

"Yes. Do you?"

"Well, of course I do, you asshole. I wouldn't have stuck around if I didn't." Gakuto could pretend all he wanted, but there was really no denying that he enjoyed seeing Yuushi's face every night and every morning. He had missed it -- that was why he was pissed off.

"I should have realized that."

"Yeah, you should have! You would have saved me a lot of trouble!" Gakuto dumped his bag on the floor. "Just for that, I'm going to keep you up all night!"

"That doesn't sound like much of a punishment."

"Yeah, well, I'm feeling merciful."

Yuushi had that misty look in his eyes -- the one he only ever had while watching romance movies. It made Gakuto happy, and he didn't even try to pretend that he wasn't. Yuushi reached out and took his hand -- and they were holding hands, just like a couple of teenagers in love, and it was nice.

"Welcome home, Gakuto."

"I won't leave again, just as long as you promise that I'm your only bitch for life," Gakuto said.

"I'll make the promise gladly."

"Good. Now let's go to bed."

Gakuto hated routine, but there were certain things that he really couldn't do without. Maybe it was all right for he and Yuushi to be exclusive, and it was probably just fine that he cared about the stupid guy so much. It would have to be all right -- because he would probably care for quite some time, if not forever.

They were partners, after all.

-----


End file.
